7 Days Left

I've been putting myself through 2-a-days for the most part this past week, since I don't want to skimp on the lifting because we'll be tested on that, but I also need to get in better running shape. I'm exhausted, but I feel good about the progress that I'm making and the effort that I'm putting in.

This thing isn't about playing football anymore, for me. Absolutely, I'm doing this for the love of the game, and I can't think of anything cooler than being able to finish up my time at Syracuse playing football for a team that is going places a lot faster than most people think, don't get me wrong. I want nothing more in the world than that.

But I really, at this point, after months of working for this, (see previous posts) just want to see what I'm made of. Sure, win or lose here, I can walk away proud of what I've done, but I didn't do all this to not make the team. I didn't do it to walk away and say, hey, I tried really hard, but it just didn't work out. This is about setting a goal (even if it's grandiose and borderline bat-sh-t crazy) and doing everything in your power to get to it. It's about second chances for guys that didn't do things the right way when good things were there for them picking themselves up and doing it the right way from there on out. Learning discipline and toughness.

I'll be working myself to the brink this week in final preparation. I know I won't stack up as well as some guys on certain things, but I'll be there from an effort standpoint.

Watching the Spring Game was surreal, exciting, and somewhat infuriating since I wanted to be on the field so bad. We'll find out soon enough whether that will be the case or not.

Less than 2 weeks to go

And I am frrrrrrrrrreaking out! In a good way though I guess- my roommate Josh said it best, if you actually feel good about what you're doing, you've probably lost a bit of your edge- it's best to feel like you're failing, so you work harder...that's paraphrased from sweaty gym-talk.

I've heard some things here and there about what happens during the tryouts, and what I would be expected to do in terms of working out, and I gotta be honest, I'm a little nervous. I'm not sure (pretty damn not sure) that I'll stack up well with the other guys, but we'll see.

2 years ago I weighed 135 lbs. 1 year ago I weighed 150. I now weigh 180 and have worked harder at this than anything I've ever worked at before, and I'm not embarrassed to say it. It's not uncool to really try at something, whether it fails or succeeds. Hell, I only started benching 9 months ago, then lost two straight months to the ankle thing, so we're talking about 7 months of benching and I can do a pretty damn good amount for that kind of period. I'm assuming the other guys will have been doing this throughout high school football and the like, so I dunno.

I do know that I'll outwork them if given the opportunity. Why? Because I'm a sick, sick bastard. I love the pain, and I love to work.

I've amped up all efforts for the final push here, then am taking like 2 days off before tryouts to let the body recoup. For example, tomorrow is all-cardio day, and I'm doing two workouts, one after class is over, then one later on at night. To hell with the ankle, which continues to swell and be a pain in the ass. Screw the blood blisters that cover the bottom of both of my feet. It's go time.

Pray for me, I'm gonna need it.

4 Weeks Away...Thoughts

It's funny how something so far away can still make you nervous. I'm already nervous for these things, but it's only pushing me to work harder. It's a tough time of year, with tons of schoolwork and other things going on, but you better believe I'm hitting it hard.

I started this site to sort of chronicle this journey of mine, and looking back, I don't think I really have done that effectively. I think that once I started actually writing it, I really felt uncomfortable talking about MYSELF all the time. With working for the Syracuse Football team last semester preventing me from commenting on SU sports, I haven't had a ton of material to put out there, and this idea has certainly suffered.

That said, it's been a nice outlet throughout this process, and more importantly, it's been yet another thing to light a fire under my ass. When you know people are watching and reading, it helps you run that extra minute on the treadmill, do that last rep, etc....because you know that if you're out there talking, you had better be able to back it up.

Not that I've talked a whole bunch of game here about how I'm going to be good or anything- I've just sorta made fun of myself for 7 months straight. And I will stand by that- I will probably not be good. Doesn't mean I wont try like hell TO BE good.

I WILL BE POSTING my NFL Draft top 50, so stay tuned for that. Also, more favorite books and other observations to come in these final weeks before tryouts. Mostly I'll just be busting my ass physically, but I'm sure I'll find time for this. You keep reading, I'll keep writing.

TRYOUTS!!!

The day is upon us...Tryouts are in one month. 4 weeks to finish up the hard work that I've put in for the last 7+ months. Haven't missed a workout. I've worked harder at this thing than anything else that I've ever tried.

ONE MONTH...I am pumped. Win or lose, I'll be ready and in shape. Pray for me, I'm gonna need it.

Back From Break, Random Notes

Back from spring break. It was a crazy time over spring break, things got pretty out of control...no, no, wait, yeah, they didn't. I went home to the Philly 'burbs and basically worked out, hung out with a few friends, read a lot, and watched a few movies. Did a little shopping for some new sneakers, found nothing I like, but DID come up with a very lifelike Randy Moss figurine in a clearance bin for 5 DOLLARS! I only had 4 dollars in my pocket, and wouldn't you believe the man took it. Now ol' Randy sits on my desk and keeps an eye on things.

I played some ball this weekend in cleats and all, and felt really good. Didn't go quite 100% but didn't totally half-ass it either, and I think I'm coming along really well at this point. I played Sunday and the ankle is still pretty sore, but nothing like it used to be. I squatted today and it's even doing well. I could cut actually pretty well.

Hoping that all is going well for the SU football team in the beginning of spring practices, which according to Syracuse.com started on Monday. I hope to be with them someday, and will continue to work towards that goal. I do not know when tryouts or that sort of thing are, but when they do come- I will be ready. At this point, with cardio and all I'm working out 6 or 7 days a week, depending on the week, and am really coming along. I've said it before- if I don't make this team, it certainly won't be for lack of effort. I will control what I can control, and that is what I put into it.

I'll be updating a lot more soon! I'm also on the radio on 88.3 WAER in Syracuse on the post game shows for basketball and lacrosse. More so lacrosse at this point, but the occasional basketball show as well. Tune in after the games for my ...analysis? Uh oh...

You can also go to http://www.waer.org/ and listen live. Happy Tuesday and back to work.

A Week "Off"

Just finished another 6 week program, and with my body breaking down, I'm taking a week off the weights.

Still doing cardio and core stuff, I played some basketball tonight and will be doing that throughout the week. My ankle swells up at turns kinda purple at spots after playing, but the pain level is down.

As tryouts get closer, as I've mentioned, I'll be cranking up the cardio. I figure the one thing I can control about my chances is my conditioning and weight room stuff, so you better believe I'm hedging my bets the best I can by being in impeccable shape when these tryouts roll around.

Which brings me to my next point, no I don't know when tryouts are. I've received a few emails about this and people have asked me in person as well, and to be real I don't even really know when tryouts are or what. Hopefully I'll find out that information this week, I'm going to ask around because I'm sure that time is coming up at some point in the somewhat near future.

Listen this Saturday to Sportsnight on 88.3 WAER, where I'll be on talking about the state of the NFL in relation to the Collective Bargaining Agreement and the uncapped year. I'll have some not-so-often talked about points about the state of negotiations and all that crap that very few really care about.

Congrats to SU Basketball on their win on Saturday against my hometown Nova Wildcats. I was there and it was as electric a scene as I've ever seen at a sporting event. We definitely showed 'em who was boss, as we have all season pretty much. That is one unbelievable squad.

More updates to come soon so tell your friends and come back often!

Post-Super Bowl Sadness, Will I make this team?.. etc

Well it's over. Five plus months, minus the combine and draft of course, of utter football-less misery. It's still snowing in Syracuse and I have a class from 7-9:45 tonight, and I'm in a contemplative mood.

First, the Super Bowl last night was incredible. 3 years in a row of top-notch games to remember, and congrats to the Saints and the city of New Orleans. I picked the Colts to win the game big, so count me on the list of people who were wrong on that one. I question the Colts taking their foot off the gas late in the first half, but ultimately it came down to just a couple plays within the huge game that changed the tides in the Saints favor. Either way, an outstanding game on all fronts, and I can't wait to see what NFL Films does with America's Game to tell this epic story.

In terms of Hopeless Walk On, I've been thinking about how this crazy plan of mine is going to turn out. Thinking about the scenarios, the successful one, and what that would be like, and also failing, and what that would be like. I really hope everything works out, I know that goes without saying, but I was thinking as I was walking home from the gym earlier today how much time and effort that I have put into this, and how badly I want to play football. (and how badly it would suck to fail at trying to play football)

It seems insane when taking a step back to try this hard for a goal that in the grand scheme of things, probably will not do much for my life. It seems as though at this point, I should be focusing more on career-related things and not some pipe dream of playing collegiate football, but I can't avoid it- I want to play. I'm keeping the foot on the pedal, and if I fail, at least I can say I busted my ass every single day to make it happen. Some people just aren't good enough, but I'd like to think that I could be good enough.

I guess I know how much I can learn from this experience from a football standpoint, a life standpoint, and about myself, and how much I have learned about myself already. You learn what kind of grit, commitment, and determination that you have really fast even when training for something like this, and I know if I were to make the team, that this would be the very tip of the iceberg. Let's hope it all works out.

Getting my Legs Right

Squats, split squats, jump squats, speed squats, lunges, dead lifts, cleans, running, stair machine, basketball, ahhhhhhhhh........

Although on most days I drag my ass around this tundra of a campus, my legs are getting stronger, more conditioned, more in shape, etc. Soon I should be at least reasonably solid in the leg area and I'm still doing the upper body nonsense, so hell I should look like a football player at some point. Now looking and actually being one are two different things, of course, but at least I'm putting the time in. Any new recommendations on leg exercises is always appreciated!

Also, as of now, the ankle is really sore on a daily basis but doesn't cause me any major pain at this point while lifting. It does slow me down during basketball though, but it's definitely coming along and improving. It's just a long, long f--king road, I underestimated how long it would really take to get all the way better. I really doubt it's going to be 100% before I have to try out for the SU Football team.

Coming up on Saturday or tomorrow: a long, drawn out Super Bowl piece. Come back to see who my prediction is, and by how much. I'll say this: the winner is gonna win big.

Relative Lack of Excitement

It has occured to me that there has been, well, a lull around here lately. In my life, really. I think that I've been training, lifting, and am just in the groove. The beginning new car smell has worn off and I'm just in the grind of this thing.

My ankle has plateaued a bit, so I'll be visiting a physical therapist as I mentioned, provided I can afford it. Let's hear it for credit cards...

Eating, Gym, Eating, Schoolwork, Eating, Gym...

I invite you to hang in there with me as I progress.

I still want nothing else than to play college football. I realize that might not come across in every post since, on a daily basis, I'm pretty much a goofy idiot. But let it be known that I'm working my ass off.

Goin to the gym now...I've got goals...

Walk-On Stuff

I just learned that the biggest, baddest dude sitting in the room for tryouts this year didn't make the team. The guy is an animal, I mean freakish looking...he could eat me for lunch. ......Gulp.....

I've got a great chance at this...whatever gotta keep the energy level up. Great workout today with Weight Lifting Guru/Ladies Man Extraordinaire Josh Hawley. We also figured out late last night with a few other friends that Josh looks like Wayne Gretzky. Awesome...fodder for the next year...one more Wayne, I thought you were the F--king Great One!! Haha...

Walk-on Meeting

So on Monday I went to the walk-on meeting for Syracuse Football. Clearly I can't play this year, but I wanted to get an idea of what to expect for next year. I also wanted to see if I could do something with the team this year, whether it be helping to cut up film or whatever the hell they need really. I'm going to be in touch with the Kevin VanDerzee, the president of football operations, to see if there is any room for me to help out this year. I'm really hoping there is.

He also said there might be an issue with my eligibility, or lack thereof. Since I started school in 2006, I might not have one more year of eligibility to play next year. If there were the case, there's really no dream, no journey, no blog, nothing. I'll be fucking crushed, I really will, if that's the case.

That said, one of the community colleges I went to for 3 semesters DID NOT have any sports teams, so how can I use up eligibility if I can't even play a sport if I wanted to? Also, I was enrolled part time, since I was working full time. So we'll see whats up. I'll update you as soon as I am updated. Hold your breath for me. Pray for me, if you pray.